“All it takes is faith and trust! And a little bit of pixie dust.”
If only it were that simple, right? In the real world faith and trust can sometimes be harder to come by than pixie dust. I am seeing a running theme in my last few blog posts, and I apologize. Apparently this is something God feels I need to work on. “Ok Lord, I hear you.”
I feel like the last few years of my life have been a bit of a learning process. Learning to trust. In retrospect it seems a little crazy, I am a trusting person in general. Sometimes to a fault I trust people, but when it comes to trusting God I just could never fully let go. Sure I would say I had given my problems to Him, my worries, my cares; but in reality I was always holding back just a little bit. “But God what if this happens? What if that DOESN’T happen? When will it happen? How will it happen? Why hasn’t it happened yet?” Being the ever patient God that He is, He doesn’t always answer directly or right away. Sometimes He chooses instead to show us in the most beautiful ways.
A couple of weeks ago I was having a bit of a rough week. I hate to admit it, but it started with a Disney issue. I was reading some message boards about the new disability pass system at the Disney parks. I ran across several people that ranted and raved about how “unfair” it was that those that had disabilities got to cut to the front of the line. In my human mind I thought, “Unfair??? What about every other day of Landon’s life? When the other kids get to run around on the play ground and he can’t? What about fair then?” In retrospect people are people, and there opinion really shouldn’t bother me that much, but this did. For days I couldn’t let it go.
That weekend we went to the mall to take Landon for a spin in his new chair. This couple stopped us in the middle of the mall. They made small talk for a few minutes, asking about his chair and talking to Landon. Finally with tears in her eyes the woman told us Landon reminded her of her grandson, Caleb. He had CP and neuroblastoma. He had passed away at 13 months. They thanked us for letting them talk to Landon, then walked away with tears in their eyes and smiles on their faces. It was like in that moment God was saying “Just trust me. It may not seem fair, but the families of the kids running around on the playground? They may never get a moment like that. They may never get to see their child make an impact on someone’s life in that big of a way. You get to see it happen every single day.”
I guess I should preface this next part for all you blog readers who don’t know our family personally with saying Landon is going to be a big cousin! My husband and I are overjoyed. This baby is something our family has been praying for for a quite awhile. Last September during a Sunday night service Bethany and I were praying together. Another lady in the church came over and said to me, “I just want you to know that what you are praying for is going to happen. It’s in God’s timing and His timing is perfect.” I was speechless. There was no way this woman knew what we were really praying about. We hadn’t told many people outside of immediate family that we were praying for a little one. If most people saw Bethany and I praying they would assume we were praying about Landon. This was one of those times you knew it was God speaking to you. Boyd Vance is due to make his arrival almost a year to the day this sweet woman spoke those words over me.
Oh and the God’s timing is perfect thing she said? It proved to be true. In January of this year Landon was set to have spine surgery. This was something our entire family was stressed beyond belief about it. The day before Landon was set to have surgery I found out I was pregnant. It was like God was saying “See? I hear every prayer. I am still in the prayer answering business. Trust me.”
The truth is God has painted a more beautiful picture with my life than I could ever have imagined. All those “What ifs? Whens? and Hows?” He knew the answer, but instead of just answering He has shown me just how much He has everything under control. Whatever situation you are facing, give it to God, and watch the glorious unfolding of your life.
Living, laughing, and loving,
LeeAnna
This is going to be a glorious unfolding,
Just you wait and see and you will be amazed.
You’ve just got to believe the story is so far from over.
So hold on to every promise God has made to us,
And watch this glorious unfolding.
–Steven Curtis Chapman
Living, Laughing, & Loving with Landon 